Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
