I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
