in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
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