she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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