Umm I'm too high to move.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
