I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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