If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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