Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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