The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
