he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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