I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
