Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
