she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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