did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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