Don't you send me to vm
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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