no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
