I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I lost the right to judge tonight
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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