Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well I just put wine in my tea
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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