Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
There's even glitter on my cock...
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