Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
