that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
