I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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