He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
