Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
