Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize