I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's a Shit stain on my heart
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
