if i died would you start the facebook group?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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