one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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