How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I love how my cats smell like pot.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
