Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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