Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
