in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
