Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
