my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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