eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
