so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
