I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
