Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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