god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
