Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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