help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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