we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
