Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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