Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
