Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
