you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't turn off my feet"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
