he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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