I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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