so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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