she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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