The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize