I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
