Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
