It's Friday. Sex?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
