I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
