you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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