kristin has been a bad kristin
it was like eating out sand paper
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
