you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Randomize
