I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
