do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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