Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
