He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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