Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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